Mysticism may be dualistic, maintaining a distinction between the self and the divine, or may be nondualistic.
Important to note, since 2005 when I started having mystical experiences, I was still a fulltime student, worked as a stage manager and kept my commitment to friends and family. The experiences I was having always brought me to a place that something else occupied, meaning I came in contact with "something" else. What it was, I am going to say for sure was Christ, the Holy Sprit, me talking with God. (Which btw, is demanded for anyone who wants to go into ministry, one must be able to converse with the Holy Spirit... and I have seen hundreds of people do so since birth.) Perhaps the people around me all became tuned in, perhaps God took me in and conversed with me through them, perhaps it was so miraculous that to define it's mystery is improbably, but I was speaking to… I am positive, 100%, over 50 students a day at that campus, them all learning my name--- Who i was, what i was doing, why I was doing it. I always wanted fame and glory, but I never thought I would get such being a saintly follower of Christ... I mean I became a famous saint then... made known to many, everyday, because of my qualities and enlightenment, and personality, looks, etc.... and since I also saw and "lived alongside the other students at PSU who experienced what I was experiencing…" I know it was not something normal, normal for me or them at the school. It seems most likely to me, that the other 60,000 students at PSU experienced it with me, and in all honesty I had my close friends attest to what I was experiencing, the truth was… I suddenly seemed to become one with God at PSU, a holy, hot saint and I was being worshiped, praised, adored, followed by men and women, professed adoration to and otherwise having Godly attributes. I, again, have friends, fellow students at PSU at that time, who can attest to this…
I also through working daily with Christ have so many people who can attest that they… through some other sense than hearing my voice, can HEAR MY VOICE and understand that I, in my everyday nature, am… godly. If I take myself way back, through the months, to the beginning, and say with all the honesty that I have, true gifts from God--- true blessings--- and that they indeed communicated to me through the HOLY SPIRIT and PSYCHIC WAYS… that in 2008, here on Earth, I and the other people of Florida, esp. Orlando, because of me experienced "during this time, the planet and its inhabitants may undergo a positive physical or spiritual transformation, and that 2012 may mark the beginning of a new era" which included the meeting of me, via again the HOLY SPIRIT, Psychic means and godly ways, if during this time I honestly can attest to other's accounts (as there would be many humans accounts of what had happened) and mark my word what happened to me was for real, those experiences which lead to my transformation and then further travel.
Spiritually, mentally, and physically I transformed during both periods, in succession I made my mark as I traveled, experiencing a variety of states and communions~ the thing which I daily communed with was not seen but heard from 2008 onward into Seoul, where again I swear the people of Seoul were a conscious part of my experience (s), the nature of my state being inhuman and proudly conversed by all who I came in contact with, including those I worked with--- Again by then I had proof, and have proof that those I live with, those I daily come in contact with, do indeed experience this holy, supernatural state in which I am the focus and by my nature and by the nature of what surrounds me, and proven to be godly… of a part of God. By all of this, my past here has simply proven to all who remember me, have come in contact with me, or are in the environment that I live; that I am indeed a part of God… One with God, or living permanently on Earth as a nondualistic part of Jesus Christ. Differing religious traditions have described this fundamental mystical experience in different ways:
Union with God (Theosis in Catholic Christianity)
Now, as mysticism is the CONSCIOUS AWARENESS OF GOD OR OF THE ULTIMATE REALITY!!!! Theosis is "In Christian theology, particularly in Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, and Oriental Orthodoxy theology, theosis (written also: theiosis, theopoiesis, theōsis; Greek: Θέωσις, meaning divinization, deification, or making divine) is the process of transformation of a believer who is putting into practice the spiritual teachings of Jesus Christ and His gospel. In particular, theosis refers to the attainment of likeness to or union with God, that is the final stage of this process of transformation and is as such the goal of the spiritual life. Theosis is the third of three stages; the first being purification (katharsis) and the second illumination (theoria). By means of purification a person comes to illumination and then sainthood. Sainthood is the participation of the person in the life of God. According to this doctrine, the holy life of God, given in Jesus Christ to the believer through the Holy Spirit, is expressed through the three stages of theosis, beginning in the struggles of this life, which increases in the experience of the believer through the knowledge of God, and is later consummated in the resurrection of the believer, when the power of sin and death, having been fully overcome by the atonement of Jesus, will lose hold over the believer forever."
By my personal experience, I was marked at PSU as a human who had direct revelation and experience with the holy, the supernatural, the spiritual including daily contact with the doctrine of Christ; which I would meditate on and put to use as a person, and psychically would digest, etc which lead to me teaching other person by means which I have come to know (remember I mentioned before that much of my day in 2005, 2008 & 2009 was spent teaching.) I was founded to be blessed by being godly: (Definition 1: Having great reverence for God; pious) since birth, and then from the age of 24 having the experience of
turning into GOD: "1
capitalized: the supreme or ultimate reality: as a
: the Being perfect in power, wisdom, and goodness who is worshipped as creator and ruler of the universe b
Christian Science: the incorporeal divine Principle ruling over all as eternal Spirit : infinite Mind."
Since I have stated this before, the definition of God, simplified beyond any means necessary, but for the means of my purpose; the definition can be used to express my reality, or what in fact has power or control over my reality, and thus my experiences here on Earth are an awakening to Christ, God, the creator of all that exists. This is daily proven to me 1) By my communion with something living, at times all knowing or all encompassing 2) By my ability to change my reality, control those around me, including people, animals, things, time, space, sounds, etc.
I do not doubt that what I went through at PSU and in Orlando, was a purification of my soul/mind/body. In fact, to write about my personal experience in detail, I can say that nothing entered my mind, body and ultimately soul that was not "white", "sinless", honest, good, and if indeed I was being watched constantly by other humans and/or God, nothing went to me without going through either of them… I was purified so much that for at least 1 month I did not have to eat, drink or have the human function of going to the bathroom! (I don't think I mentioned this before, but my body (as I was psychically told by God—see previous post 'Conversations with God') was no longer simply just human in nature and thus did not have the human functions given to mortals after the sin of Adam and Eve. I was placed, as I was told, back into heaven and my body thus was cleansed from the infraction placed upon mortal men and women since the beginning of time, aging, dying and human physical need; like eating, drinking, sleeping, the bathroom, etc. I honestly swear that for 1 month, and during much of this time I was superimposed into another state, almost as if I wasn't on Earth but in another realm. I did function as a normal human, even went out shopping in Orlando, etc (as in doing normal, city girl things) but my mind, body, and soul was entranced with God and his Holy Spirited entered me and made it so I was cleansed from sin and thus physical mortal needs. After experiencing, what I would call a purification process via the Holy Spirit and God, I then went into another trancelike state (though again I was a normal women on the Earth and even at this time working fulltime) which brought me the power of a mind that educated me beyond anything I had ever known before, in ways I never knew one could be educated. By this I mean I was taught by something, in a variety of ways, but all supernaturally. I was learning by some holy ghost, who in all seriousness, was teaching me based on my thoughts, perceptions, feelings, moods, aka human mind and state. I had many questions, and it was during this time I truly feel (later now that I am more aware and with more knowledge I am positive) that I was communicating with Christ/God/supernatural beings. Of course my mind went everywhere, sometime I would "think" (even would be!) I was speaking to God, sometimes to Christ, sometimes to angels, sometimes to Ghosts, and of course I KNEW I WAS ALSO SPEAKING TO PEOPLE, THE PEOPLE OF ORLANDO AND BEYOND.
2008-2009, had me experience both purification which lead to my state of nonhuman bodily function and the stage of illumination which taught me that I could control space and time, time travel, speak to every human on the earth, talk to God, control the reality of the Earth, be filled with the Holy Spirit and experience many of the gifts this wonderful being brings (see previous post about) and much more.
(All this has come to pass what which the prophets have said would pass at the 2nd coming of Christ!!!!)
It was by this being which was with me 24/7, and perhaps my communion with beings on Earth that I learned all I could do. IN ALL HONESTY, EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE SINCE THEN I WAS TOLD I COULD DO PRIOR, WHILE I WAS LIVING IN ORLANDO, FLORIDA. I WAS TOLD BY AN UNSEEN BEING, and then again by people in Orlando who would always approach me (for often they said I had something no other human they saw had, something "about me"... or they would just start talking about me, as my fame grew, so did the knowing of me.)
I have spent over 900 days contemplating what I have experienced, what others have experienced, the information and knowledge of this world and what I have been told. I am not ready at the age of 28 to digress upon all my experienced, and the reality of this truth. I am no wear near to be trained to be a person who directly encompasses a reality in which my being, my whole person, me—everything I am—in transcended into Christ and also the 2000 century Earth. If a human being walked this Earth which as much power as me, I would certainly like to meet him or her, because as of yet I have not found one. This said I am also aware of my being, if I could take it out of the reality it is in, as for now I cannot~ but this person I am sitting in that is a young, 28 year olf American women who should by all means be aware of her flaws and incapability's. We talk about our incapability's here on this Earth, how humans are incapable of being godly, how they are incapable of mentally communicating with others via telepathy or something like it, how they are without the ability to control their environment, and how, as a human, they are incapable of communicating with Christ. I swear on my (what to swear by) that I am, despite my consciousness wanting to say otherwise at times (the logic, rational ego of mine denies, oh how it denies), capable of doing all 4. What does a women do in this case? She slowly, in all rationality, studies, and then even more slowly starts to speak about it…
My transformation into Christ, into God, into what I have become has not left me alone (in fact it is the opposite; I quoted in a previous blog a portion of text from "The Tremendous Lover" which stated God's desire for mankind. Blessing that included fame, fortune, heath, richness, etc.) Yet, my ability to communicate to God and maybe even humans all day long, has left me with a vacant space that needs to be filled with the saints of today, those who vocationally follow Christ and with impending desire, understand my impression on them and this Earth, enough to explain (via their mouths) what I can do, have done, am doing…
St. Athanasius of Alexandria wrote, "God became man so that man might become god." [the second god is always lowercase]
I do not in any way believe that my experience has left me inhuman. I do not deny my rational, logical self. In fact, despite my often dreamlike reality, I turn to self and say, "I am not him, the Christ who by x, y, z came to save the world. Even if, in my being I can do x, in my mind I hear y, and by my reality I see z… my person is simply being bought, my persona is growing in Christ, and I avow that as a Christian I came to find God."
St. Maximus the Confessor wrote, "A sure warrant for looking forward with hope to deification of human nature is provided by the incarnation of God, which makes man god to the same degree as God himself became man.... Let us become the image of the one whole God, bearing nothing earthly in ourselves, so that we may consort with God and become gods, receiving from God our existence as gods. For it is clear that He who became man without sin (cf. Heb. 4:15) will divinize human nature without changing it into the divine nature, and will raise it up for his own sake to the same degree as He lowered himself for man's sake. This is what St Paul teaches mystically when he says, '...that in the ages to come he might display the overflowing richness of His grace' (Eph. 2:7)."(page 178 PHILOKALIA Volume II)
I always have the uncanny ability to find what I seek. I seek to know what I am, what I have become, why I have experienced life on this Earth in the way I have, and why my reality encompasses those who see me and my ability as godlike.
"For many fathers, theosis goes beyond simply restoring people to their state before the Fall of Adam and Eve, teaching that because Christ united the human and divine natures in Jesus's person, it is now possible for someone to experience closer fellowship with God than Adam and Eve initially experienced in the Garden of Eden, and that people can become more like God than Adam and Eve were at that time."
I swear I did not know the above paragraph until after I wrote everything above it. Yet, what did I mention above, that my state in 2008 while I was living in Orlando, Florida was that of a human without any human function. I had the power even then to control nature, men, women, animals, the moving of all the is in my environment, the mental states or reality of the people in my environment, the ability to know the future, and then have it proven seconds later, the ability to know the truths from 1,000 years ago and in fact learn psychically ~ all of which I did in a state where I felt NO PAIN, NO HUNGER, NO THIRST, NO DESIRE TO RELEASE WASTE. I WAS IN A STATE OF ECSTACY, A STATE WHERE I COULD CONTROL NOT ONLY MY REALITY, AKA THE EARTH, BUT MY BODY. I COULD RAISE MY HEARTBEAT WHENEVER I DESIRED, I COULD BREATHE IN WATER, IN COULD PUT A FLAME TO MY HAND AND FEEL NOTHING BUT COLD. I COULD EVEN STOP MY BREATHE FOR LONGER THAN HUMANILY NORMAL. Experiencing this was so dreamlike, so miraculous in its effect, that my mind put it away, stored it, so that not many knew…. Except now I must be able to write about it, before I can speak about it to people.
"Author and mystic, Evelyn Underhill outlines the universal mystic way, the actual process by which the mystic arrives at union with the absolute. She identifies five stages of this process."
"Christian mysticism is the pursuit of communion with, identity with, or conscious awareness of the Christian God through direct experience, intuition, instinct or insight. Christian mysticism usually centers on a practice or practices intended to nurture those experiences or awareness, such as deep prayer involving the person of Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghosts. This approach and lifestyle is distinguished from other forms of Christian practice by its aim of achieving unity with the divine. In the words of Oswald Chambers, "We receive His blessings and know His Word, but do we know Him?"
My direct experience of course will allow me to correlate the truth of what both mysticism is, and what it is like to be a mystic. I have formed my own opinion of what I am based on my experiences; no new knowledge curtailed my experiences or assisted in my definition of myself. Before I knew what mysticism was, or how it was in the many ways defined, I was experiencing a communion with God, a divine connection and a reality that offered me certain close placement with godly abilities.
Ben-Ami, in the first chapter, states "The usual criterion for the mystic state is the certainty that one is undergoing the direct, previously veiled touch of reality in itself; and that this reality more nearly resembles our internal experience than our simply external environment." How more wrong could he be! Way before I knew any definition or academic term for what I was experiencing, I knew that the reality of Earth was indeed tied into and a direct influence of my reality. I was suddenly, because of my first mystic experience, sensing the world and my environment much closer than I ever had done before, in case I missed something, there was some clue or event that would explain what reality I was in…
Diary entry 2005, "I am watching them more. I now take time to sit, relaxed and free, upon the grass nole of the campus main lawn. I often believe I will go there to meditate, but find myself spending an equal amount of time watching, closely monitoring the people around to see what I have never seen before, to notice how they look at me, how they move, how they seem to react to my thoughts, or even come out and say something to me… I watch so closely, even when the other party does not seem to see me, notice me; I have never stared at people Like I do now… hoping to not be noticed, but to notice, all my senses heightened… my attention focus on the smallest sound, the tiniest movement.
My focus on my reality, on the earth and those in my environment, in fact was a notable growth in my character. Before what I took in, the environment I was in and what was happening in it, happened to be of a much less degree than what it grew to; directly responsible was my mystic self as well as my logical, rational, reasoning self that desired above all else the answers, the truth. I was 24 in 2005, as I aged I also grew in character, changing certain aspects of my personality to adapt to my environment in the most promising of ways. Adaptation is a necessity, innate in man and beast. My character in 2008 succumbed to my curiosity, soon enough I was not only paying attention to my interactions but those interactions had by anything in my environment. Any conversation, any physical contact, my focus stayed upon… my focus then turned to what I heard, not just from people but in all of my environment be it city noise, background noise, the radio, TV, etc. After focusing more intently on human interactions, and sounds in my environment, I went to what I saw. I noticed the smallest movements, the largest movements… before I would not notice the plane above… within 3 years, my new character I saw it with a exact precision, noticing exact when it entered my environment, what sounds I hear the moment before, during and after it came into my sight, what other movements were happening, and even what I was thinking at the time. I love to note that my power of intention was newly focused on the practice of gaining external information.
"Self-realization means that we have been consciously connected with our source of being. Once we have made this connection, then nothing can go wrong…" by the Power of Intention as seen on public TV.
The Power of Intention, preface is that "You're holding in your hands evidence that anything we can conceive of in our minds—while staying in harmony with the universal all-creating Source—can and must come to pass."
That statement, a statement of fact and truth that I dearly attest to, impacts me, my reality, my use of myself as a mystic, and the reality of the term and it's affect in our world, beyond what any other description of mysticism can attest to. I hold my truth, and the truth of certain specific definitions of mysticism to be of a greater universal reality; Yet, if there is any answer to what I have done I have realized myself, I have understood the deepest portion of my human desire, and enabled my being, my "self" to grasp as what I so want. I have since then found in myself, a true power, a portion of this power is explained and digressed in 'Power of Intention', it is exactly the same true power that we hear about from mainstream society.
"Besides the river stands the holy tree of life. There doth my father dwell, and my home is in him. The heavenly father and I are one."
It is through the power of intent that our reality lies here and now. By our judgments, by our protocol, our perceptions we create ourselves. By our intent we create certain outcomes in our reality, the variables that play out to be our day, and the moments with which we live. Intent by definition means: a determination to act in a certain way, by presupposing the outcome of our actions, by realizing in our minds what reality we will have based on the actualization of our actions, we ultimately live in….
"If you're one of those people with a never-give-up attitude combined with an internal picture that propels you toward fulfilling your dreams, you fit this description of someone with intention." Power of Intention
"We have thus the power of actualizing our desire simply by the use of our mind…"
In both quotes, and the many more I have found ~ which society bases its beliefs upon, we come to the conclusion that by the power of the mind, one's individual mind, one's reality is made. Similar to this, by the power of the mystic's soul, body, and mind (which includes his/her individual thoughts and intents) he/she experiences a reality that is made up of God and in a few cases, certain powers had by those who were/are blessed by him. The mystic experiences a direct connection with God, which has been both human intent and experience since the beginning of recorded history. My intent to be first spiritually perfect (as I mentioned in depth in a previous blog, alongside my intent to have the perfect mind and body), and the subsequent intents, has lead me to this state, this existence, this path. In further writings I will divulge into separate intents of mine, including my intent to gain more awareness of my environment, and how these "intents" subsequently affected my character, my days, and those in this world.
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