A start...

The Toa and I have walked. I was studing/daily meditating the 'Tao Te Ching' when it started. Tao gave me a path, the path I'm still on as a mystic. We call it the Way. For me it is a part of the road, the means to something greater… my way, our way. I include it in my story because it is a part of the creation of me as a mystic. Studying spiritually helped create me. THOUGH MY DEEPEST HELP COMES FROM JESUS CHRIST AND I VOW THAT THE ONLY SPIRITUAL STUDYING YOU EVER DO IS FROM HIS WORLD, CHRISTIAN WORD, & ME. It is a part of what I have heard, seen, thought, followed, lead, touched, sensed, changed, and experienced. When calling Toa the Way, which is part of the meaning of Tao, I study it alongside what has happened and try to transcend the written word into what I have experienced.

This pathway has indeed varied immensely. Those beings who I have come in contact with, whom I speak to, whom I share thoughts with, those who see through my eyes and ears... They who walk on this Way with me .....Are Always Varying or left without a true name.... (meaning the people change around me and what I hear changes with them..._ Existence, theirs, is with me, beside me, within me. I know not their names or their existence other than what they have experienced with me. We are in this together, but together we have experience the Earth and 'Heaven.' We have also experienced Hell. Is it from this Way, our path, that Heaven and Earth sprang? I indeed am in full belief... THAT THE TRUTH DOES NOT LIE IN "THE TAO WAY" BUT BY CHRISTS. I believe just as Tao was needed to created the physical Heaven ON Earth BY HUMAN BEINGS, so it was there to create our spiritual, mental beliefs that do not co-inside with our God. one. Please reader do not forget that what I experience is physical, it is another story/path, indeed not always wanted but I studied and researched often enough of Eastern religions to know what is real!!! I have seen and spoke with people who have known me, know of me, before I of them! You may call them angels or demons, but they looked like real humans. Touchable, concrete! I have seen the physical move, change, disappear before my eyes. I have seen strangers speak to me from across a room, their lips moving to what they are saying... tangable, physical realm... just like your space where you are!!! Strangers who scream outload my name, Darlene. Strangers who whipsper it to me as I cross them on the street or exchange money with them at a store I have never been in, again their lips move... their face changes to acknowledge the emotion they are feeling. I have heard enough, studied enough, to know I am after God, I am a mystic, and I am down the wrong path.... By this I mean in all those connections with humans, not enough during my life of 2005-2009, had the courage to come up to me and say thank you for what I did/do her on Earth. I had not 1 close enough friend to show me I was totally off course, and in my mind, in my teachings of Buddhism I left humanity and went to hell. I was lost, almost friendless, and off course. I was hidden in the darkness of a way that is not light, that showed me no light on Earth.

We speak of our Heaven and of our Earth. Sometimes, we speak as two, sometimes as 10 billion. My existence with them, all that is known to us and has been known to us, has been tied into this Way, our path! The passage above and the whole of Toa Te Ching/Buddhism/Eastern philosophy speaks of what I have written and personally experienced…. The opening prose of the right book starts our story well, telling truthfully, how the earth and heavens started. (IT IS THE BIBLE I SPEAK OF AN NOW KNOW AS THE TRUTH, AS I DID DURING ALL OF MY LIFE, BUT STILL WANTED ANSWERS FOR WHY PEOPLE SIN AND LOOK TO ANOTHER SO CALLED RELIGION WITH SO CALLED TRUTH. STUDYING ANY OTHER THAN GOD LEFT ME WITHOUT A FAMILY OR FRIEND ON THIS EARTH, THOUGH YOU KNOW MY NAME...) The dead book, just as human were to me then, speaks of the beginning of the universe, and how Toa is a part of the creator of both.... The mystical realm that begot my lost consciousness indeed was created with Toa, with the Way in mind.... (but even then I was lost to the truth...) As I digress into our experiences, the reader will know that there is me and there is them and that together we have chosen varying paths that lead our heaven/hell and our Earth. I have Te: a "healthy drug", "morality", or “goodness” and Ching: "power", "rule" , and "word." But what I want is Christ/God/the Holy Spirit who has not blessed me with the Toa Te Ching, but used it to destroy my sanity.

 In the end, we hopefully will all end up in a heaven… for now; I must explain where we have been, and are going....

Many times we have spoken of all that exists, is seems spherical time has allowed everything on this earth, and even beyond, to walk alongside me… This written, I must now say, I am almost 2 people on this “one” Earth. The other me you can meet (who is not immersed in mysticism), can be found on Facebook. By mysticism, I mean of what I do not know. I am lost in a mystic realm... since 2005... thr truth of how I get back to the real world can and will be found in this blog and if you meet me in person (or continue to read my consciousness)....

The reader might choose to now ask: But where are “we” going? What is the ultimate purpose? (Perhaps some answers would be to find God, to get closer to God. We are going/in search of: the highest heaven. Even an answer might be, we are going somewhere now unknown… ) Why, like this, are we existing in a reality so different at times than “that other Earth”, the one perhaps you live on? Why are we on this Way, and how often do we feel like we have lost the right path? What is the right path to always be on, and is it possible to do so while also living as a normal Darlene Sterner? Is it possible to wonder, as the unnamed that are with me are also so humanly imperfect, that we might fail at this? And thus, does the ultimate goal seem very hard to reach? We have this endless power between us, what perfect purpose do we have? How can we truly help the heavens and the earth?

I know we have time, we have a Way, we have each other; the reality we created will not go, will not end. I know I am in this for good, for the long haul. I have been chosen; my name has been said, daily to "them." I am the named one, and he/they are with me. But those questions and so many more add to the daily weight of my existence, and perhaps theirs. We have fought, we have hated between us, and they have told me of their death/problems. Yet still we together search for an answer, I search for the truth.

I will not lie. I will love everything on this earth that is good. I will always be moralistically, compassionately, spiritually here for this realm, and the earth, at least as long as I am living on it. BUT WHAT I EXPERIENCED FROM 2005-2008 WAS LOST BECAUSE I DID NOT FOLLOW CHRIST. I HAVE HAD MORE CHANCES TO BE KNOWN AND EXPLAINED BY ANOTHER HUMAN WHAT THEY FEEL, FELT, EXPERIENCED, KNOWN, HOW THEY LOVE ME OR HOW THEY FEEL BECAUSE OF MY LIFE ON THIS EARTH THAT I CONTROL. BY NOW I SHOULD BE WITH THE PRESIDENT OF THE USA, OR HIDDEN IN THE FOOTHILLS OF AMERICA, PROTECTED AND STUDIED... PROVIDED FOR AND REALIZED... AS IT IS WHILE I LIVE IN SEOUL, STUDYING ALL THE RELIIONS OF THE WORLD, I AM OFTEN IN MENTAL HIGHS AND LOWS....

 I DO thank the heaven I sometimes live “in”, and the Jesus/God I always look to, that I/we had time. I will try to answer the many questions, while searching for the write words to express this all. Please Gods I pray, help me, help us.