June~ What's going on...

Today's Bible Reading
John 1:1-18
The Word Became Flesh (Gen 1.1—2.4a) In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God


I know I want to write a book. I know I have wanted to write a book since I was 10 or 11 years old. I started writing around then, for years it was a daily thing, anything from poetry, journal writing--deep profound self searching and awareness, to fictional short stories, even plays. I, of course, had people read my works now and then, the compliments were certainly their, and I remember at one point having my apt. in college decorated with 20 or so of my poems. I have actually lost a large amount of my writing due to computer crashes, something I don't like to think about that often because of the disappointment it carries AND brings. When I was in college I made a 5 year goal dysentery, then a 10, 15, and 20. I believe the actually dysentery got lost with all the other files on my hard drive when my computer crashed in '05. However, I still review the contents, stuck permanently in my mind, now and then. One of the 15 year goals was the writing and publishing of my book. So when achieved, I would be about 40 yrs old. I am now 28. I realize I have time to write, time to think and digress all that I must put on paper and send to the masses.

Before, when I realized I loved writing and felt a strong need to express myself this way, I hadn't known what exactly my book, if I only wrote and published one, would be about. Would it be fiction, or poetry, maybe a social commentary self help piece, what about a prose with heartful autobiographical injections? I wrote in to many genre's to decide, at least then. Now, since my life has developed with the experiences I have had, I can comfortably say I have my book. The topic, the theme, the ideas and stories... The whole book, in fact, can be easily written, filling hundreds of pages, just from what took place between 2005-2009.

It's a mark that I am feeling, this mark that sets me apart from the average, pinpointing me in space and time, so forcibly; with or without my allowance. I am now highlighted, always pulled out of the crowd or setting, always my name and person spoken to or talked about... my existence matters so much to something other than me, this fact allows me to justly write, knowing the written book is an acknowledgement to the mark that has been set upon me.

As for the life I lead while experiencing this, 1 out of every 3 days seems to be lived with moments so different, as least in mind, than other's have on this Earth. I know I will spiritually entwine whatever I experience, proving to the reader the why of it all, while escaping from a detailed explanation of the me outside the story. The reader must know why I am this way, why I put up with such a difference, why I sought, why I loved, why I bought my silence, and answers. There will be so many who will ask why while reading my story, the answer falls in the center of religion, my spiritual beliefs and set practices as a human with a soul.

To note, I still have not a black "sin" on me, I did go to confession last month, (I have my errors, surely not black), I have been taking note since the summer of '06. I honor God the Father, the maker of Jesus Christ, and all that is seen and unseen. I know Jesus was indeed a God, a manifestation of the true being, of the true God who reins over Heaven/Earth/and all other realms. Thank goodness Jesus was born here, died here, so I may be saved and brought to heaven in the next life. For his life and death, his choices in both, I am deeply thankful, it means to me not being dammed or lost in the next life... and living in this life with an awareness that indeed a God/MAN/HUMAN walked this Earth!!!!! How he is a guide to me, a continuous help for me, an answer to my and our questions. I feel akin to him, and as I explain more and more of myself and my consciousness, his Godliness, his written story & words, speak to my very being, to the realm I touch, and ultimately prove that such miracles, such unknown and known possibilities are true.

He is the founder of universally-known miracles. The founder of showing and explaining truths never known or properly explained. Before him God existed, as well as the dammed, but not as a man with power here on Earth, power to rule, to judge, to cure and to send to heaven. Man has always needed cures, from the illnesses of the body, to the illnesses of sin and mental wrongs; God told us since the eating of the forbidden apple in the Garden of Eden, that he wants us back~ back to the state that we were created, without illness, in perfect harmony to him. Jesus proved that a man, standing in the middle of God's created Earth, could do exactly that--- connection with the divine as we think of it now. For Jesus he was such perfection, that his whole existence was transcended with God's even before he became a man here on this Earth. I base my beliefs on the thought that God controls from the beginning to the end, every second in time he is total power, glory, and honor. His rule never stopped, never stops, and his omnipotence (the ability to know all, including what always happens in the future) co-insides with this knowledge. Jesus also had omnipotence, the ability to know the past and future. Indeed, he was a man who performed miracles on Earth knowing in that second what was and what would be; he knew he was a part of God forever and simply did as God wished. Christ's consciousness is a very interesting topic, many books have been written about it, and as I continue to write~ I know my study of it will be of great help.

Maybe the normal, working society out there has no time or patient awareness that is needed to discuss what so many skeptically argue as improbable or impossible. The miracles, the unknown, different realms, spiritual encounters, truths like time travel, parapsychology, spiritual realm communication via astroprojection or mediumship, transcendence into different consciousnesses that enable the transcended to experience a whole range of spiritual, mental, and even psychical/sensual (aka: senses) wonders, are still.... well at the very least uncelebrated. I was living and working in Seoul, as you know, while there I did indeed experience a lot spiritually, mentally, and sensually. Some of it I wrote, most is still in my head via memories. I know I must write them down, however I have a gift that will help me draw out the memories and make them momentary real on page. The gift, to explain, is that with me comes something~ not physical, yet intelligent, that can easily digress back and forth the truth of what has happened, of what took place in my past, just as if it was with me and we were having a conversation about the event. Mental discussions, what I would term this, conversations with maybe my mind, or by greater chance something else, that details the past and the truth of our experiences. It is another mind, ego, persona... and I will use this gift to write what has happened. As I grow by time; I hope the marked me is helped by the gifts I have, helped by Christ and his Holy Spirit. I hope our time together, is shared in the writing of what is true.