I’ve gotten tied into to so much; keeping track of everything is indeed hard to do. I will periodically mention some of the people, places, names, idea’s, facts, words, etc… that I have been mystically tied into… 90% of what I am tied is of a person, place, name, idea, fact, word, etc.. Usually what happens is I think about x, and x turns immediately into something in my environement, proving my mental ability to profoundly affect my environment (also instaneously proving the importance of my existance.) Also, most often: what I just was thinking/feeling will be said by another person.
Example ~ Last June/July, I was thinking of writing a book. I remember conversations with “them” about me writing a book about this experience. At that point, I/we had gone through many theories of what this was and what they were… Sometimes, every human on the Earth knew my name. Other times---there were thousands of humans who lived on another realm that were brought to me, by me or by a God. There were even times we agreed that the people I heard were the speaking souls/spirits of humans who had lived on this Earth or were living on the Earth. If you seriously ponder all three, as I spent many a time doing, somehow most of the humans on the Earth were already “touched” by me. Already felt my presence and spoke with me…. Maybe somewhere in another dimension, or via a spirit world or maybe even in the world I was living, at times, on some days, my reality changed that much.
Of course, when something grand, unique, mysterious, forever life changing, etc… happens, many people think, now I should write a book about it. Most people laugh because they know it is easier said than done. My experience is so unique, not a traditional story, and while at times the exact description of it is: heaven on earth; there are other times when what I heard, saw, felt, and experienced was very serious, depressing, and scary. Even though I knew that I was loved and "worshiped", I knew that we all believed in a God/Gods and our blessed afterlife. Even though I knew I had what was called the perfect human mind, body, and soul; I still had moments of fear, doubt, or depression. I know on this blog I still haven’t spoke about what it was like, mystically, for me from November ’07-June ’08, though I will. Let me just say, it was/is grand enough to certainly contemplate writing a book about it, though it wouldn’t/won’t come across as always positive and enlightening.
Going back, I was really into writing when I was younger. I spent more time than most writing. I loved creatively expressing myself, my thoughts, and the world I saw. I started writing everyday when I was in 7th grade, mostly journals and poems. As my awareness of writers grew, I got more into it. I wrote some plays, short stories, daily journals, and poems, all throughout high school and into college. I was involved in my high school creative writing club; I took classes at PSU that allowed me to write extensively. Looking back, I can truly say writing was a favorite pastime of mine. I even pondered becoming a journalist, while still in my young teens, though I decided that wasn’t my avenue once I started my work in the Arts.
So a book. I could perhaps start to write one, I kept thinking, though it is so hard to express what I have experienced, for many reasons… Yet, what a story! A story seen to many as fantasy, yet totally based in truth. A reality completely unique and so very majestic! We talked about our reasons for writing a book. Soon it seemed the why’s, how’s, and what’s overtook my excitement and desire to write. I was not yet ready to express all that I had heard and seen. To even tell another human in person was still difficult ~ to write something that would universally appeal, well it seemed even harder. So one night, as I pondered the idea, something inside me said to me~ perhaps even if we did somehow write this story, and it got picked up by a publisher, let’s say the masses read it~ how do we know that some of them wouldn’t think, ‘Burn the Book’ after they read it? I remember so distinctly that comment, as it perplexed me--- I never thought anything like it before, and the words were so clear and obviously not from me or my mind. It opened so many questions within my mind. One question I asked myself, after getting over the surprise of such a thought: You mean, they would think, I thought to myself, some reader would want to burn the book after reading it? As if, they would not be able to handle what was said, or they did not like what we said? It might be blacklisted… put on the “inappropriate for school’s list.” LOL ~ of course, some might even think, “Burn after Reading.”
Of course, when something grand, unique, mysterious, forever life changing, etc… happens, many people think, now I should write a book about it. Most people laugh because they know it is easier said than done. My experience is so unique, not a traditional story, and while at times the exact description of it is: heaven on earth; there are other times when what I heard, saw, felt, and experienced was very serious, depressing, and scary. Even though I knew that I was loved and "worshiped", I knew that we all believed in a God/Gods and our blessed afterlife. Even though I knew I had what was called the perfect human mind, body, and soul; I still had moments of fear, doubt, or depression. I know on this blog I still haven’t spoke about what it was like, mystically, for me from November ’07-June ’08, though I will. Let me just say, it was/is grand enough to certainly contemplate writing a book about it, though it wouldn’t/won’t come across as always positive and enlightening.
Going back, I was really into writing when I was younger. I spent more time than most writing. I loved creatively expressing myself, my thoughts, and the world I saw. I started writing everyday when I was in 7th grade, mostly journals and poems. As my awareness of writers grew, I got more into it. I wrote some plays, short stories, daily journals, and poems, all throughout high school and into college. I was involved in my high school creative writing club; I took classes at PSU that allowed me to write extensively. Looking back, I can truly say writing was a favorite pastime of mine. I even pondered becoming a journalist, while still in my young teens, though I decided that wasn’t my avenue once I started my work in the Arts.
So a book. I could perhaps start to write one, I kept thinking, though it is so hard to express what I have experienced, for many reasons… Yet, what a story! A story seen to many as fantasy, yet totally based in truth. A reality completely unique and so very majestic! We talked about our reasons for writing a book. Soon it seemed the why’s, how’s, and what’s overtook my excitement and desire to write. I was not yet ready to express all that I had heard and seen. To even tell another human in person was still difficult ~ to write something that would universally appeal, well it seemed even harder. So one night, as I pondered the idea, something inside me said to me~ perhaps even if we did somehow write this story, and it got picked up by a publisher, let’s say the masses read it~ how do we know that some of them wouldn’t think, ‘Burn the Book’ after they read it? I remember so distinctly that comment, as it perplexed me--- I never thought anything like it before, and the words were so clear and obviously not from me or my mind. It opened so many questions within my mind. One question I asked myself, after getting over the surprise of such a thought: You mean, they would think, I thought to myself, some reader would want to burn the book after reading it? As if, they would not be able to handle what was said, or they did not like what we said? It might be blacklisted… put on the “inappropriate for school’s list.” LOL ~ of course, some might even think, “Burn after Reading.”
Such a trip it is. Some days more pleasant than others, but if we do not ask ourselves these hard questions…. The questions of: What am I worth? What is what I do worth? Am I perfect? Am I right in path, thoughts, speech, action, mind, body, etc…? What is my purpose? Why am I here? Why am I experiencing this? If we don’t ask these questions (and more) we will not know, and for me that is not acceptable. I guess, for me, it is scary to not know…
So, to pinpoint my attachment. I was attached to the movie, the movie which just came out this past winter, months before I ever heard the title or even knew of it!!!! It’s called, “Burn after Reading”, and while I have yet to see it, every time someone mentions the movie (not that often) or I think of it; I remember how I heard the title, and was attached to the movie, way before I ever knew of it. It was partly because we were worried about the acceptance of our experience that I decided not to write a book….at least yet.
I remember thinking some days later…that my expression of the experiences I have had would certainly be accepted, but to write it would take so much of my time... and perhaps it was a destiny of mine not to spent most of my time in front of a computer trying to type out a book.... Perhaps, it was my fate...
I mention this attachment today, because this week, I am going to buy the movie, “Burn After Reading” and watch it. It is much easier to buy American movies over here, than rent or download. You can easily find copies of American movies in the subways of Seoul, selling for $2. I know via my mind, I’ll be tied even more into the movie, as I am with any movie I watch… so perhaps, I’ll blog again about my experience watching the movie and what was said….
I am doing so well, and I just had a wonderful weekend in both realities. The job is going excellent, I am in perfect health! I have a great immune system, btw. I haven’t even gotten a cold in over 2 ½ yrs! I feel wonderful, and I just found out there’s a state-of-the art gymnasium, just built last year, that is located right by the new school I work at… The school I work out moved to a new building just this January, everything is brand new and all of us who work there are very excited about the working environment. It’s part of my luck… that the school I choose to work, decides right before they hire me, to build a brand new facility…
The gymnasium, the school is now right across the street from, is run by the city, Kangseo-gu. Thus it is top notch, with great brand new equipment, aerobic/yoga/martial arts/strength training classes, an Olympic pool, tennis court, racquet ball court, sauna’s, Jacuzzi’s, etc… I got so excited when I heard of it from another teacher! So, I am once again going to work on the perfect body. I am 5’8” a size 4. I was a size 1 (over the summer) because I like never ate… But when I became a mystic, 2005-2006, I was a perfect 2-3, total muscle, only about 11-13% body fat. Excellent shape, I worked out extensively with a trainer for 2hrs every day, I walked over 3 miles a day, and followed a strict regimented diet. I should get back to that, but I am not totally into training myself that way right now. I feel comfortable, like Venus... she was beauty... I am smaller than her, but still...beauty surrounds me... that's something I truly hope to always be attached to...
Peace and Prosperity,
D
No comments:
Post a Comment